You’ve got to like a book with chapters entitled ‘The Hassled Mum’s Guide to Getting Your Hair Under Control’, ‘How to Make Time in the Car Go Faster’, ‘How To Keep Your House Under Control in Less Time’ and more. Equally encouraging, author and parenting journalist Tanith Carey wrote How To Be An ‘Amazing Mum’ When You Just Don’t Have the Time from the perspective of a juggling modern mama – rather than a born-organised time management expert – on a mission to save time on everyday to-do’s and have more of it to spend with her family. The book is full of tips and practical ideas, from cranking up the music for a (timed) children’s tidy-up to picking the perfect boots for the school run and freezing marmite sandwiches ahead of time, ready to defrost for school lunchboxes (we’re pinching this one).
Why did you write the book?
I wrote this book simply because I wanted to spend more time with my two children, Lily and Clio. I realised that I was so time-crunched and stressed by everything I had to do that I wasn’t enjoying being a parent as much as I should have been. So, I set out to speak to experts and devise ways to make life run more smoothly. In other words, I wanted to sit down and enjoy playing with my children again – instead of looking over my shoulder at the growing laundry pile, dirty kitchen floor etc!
The point of How To Be An ‘Amazing Mum’ … is not to hurry children. Nothing could be more counterproductive. The idea of the book is to find more time in your life by doing things a little bit more efficiently. It’s about finding ways to cut out the irritating distractions, frustrations and lost minutes. In other words, it was written as way to stop the too-much-to-do culture stealing away the best moments of being a mum!
What do you think are the key challenges and pressures facing juggling mums today?
I think mothers are more time-crunched than ever before. According to one recent survey, in a day of 24 hours, British mothers are managing to pack in 27 hours of work, housework and childcare. Frankly, the only surprise was that we don’t pack in more! The fact is that it’s time, not money, that has become the most precious commodity of all, especially for mums. I wrote the book because I was worried that that in the midst of all these pressures, I suspected that some of us are maybe no longer the mothers we wanted to be.
The book includes lots of time-saving ways to prepare healthy family meals. Which strategies have really worked for you?
Using a one-pot cooker – I throw some protein and vegetables in there in the morning and leave it to cook for eight hours. So, by supper time, there’s a healthy, wholesome hot meal ready with virtually no mess. There’s usually lots left over, so I simply add some garlic or herbs to whatever I have cooked to give to my husband when he gets home! I also think tins are overlooked by busy mums. They are the ultimate convenience food on those days you have a screaming toddler and simply can’t face a journey to the shops. Tinned fruit and vegetables often have more vitamins because the contents are canned when the flavour, minerals and vitamins are at their height. Compare that to fresh fruit and veg, which lose up to 50 per cent of their vitamins in the first seven days. There are fewer preservatives needed too, and they no longer come laden with salt or in sticky sugary syrups. If you build up a good stockpile of the basics, it means you always have the makings of a healthy meal in your kitchen cupboard.
How do you combat food boredom?
I recommend mums get inventive. Try making it fun for kids by giving them dips to dunk their veggies in. Try hummus, soft cheese or guacamole. They’ll be more interested in dipping than the fact they are eating something that’s good for them. Make small portions more appetizing by presenting them in ramekin dishes. Children also love mini veg, too. Baby plum tomatoes, sweetcorn and carrots are always favourites because they just look so cute. We often tell our kids not to play with their food. But try letting your kids pop the beans out of edamame or out of peapods. The end result will be too tempting to resist. Blending fruit and veg can also help: try steaming lots of vegetables until soft, then add boiling water and blend into a smooth puree. Or else let the children throw different types of fruitjuice into a blender, press the button and see what colour it comes out.
When it comes to keeping the house straight – let alone spotless! – what are your tips for getting into a workable routine – especially if a cleaner is not in the budget?
It’s pointless trying to make your home a showhome when you have kids because, ultimately, it’s going to be a losing battle. The fact is that your children need you more than your shelves need dusting. As long as it’s safe and reasonably organized, your home doesn’t need to be clean enough for the glove test. Look on tidying your home as a way to make your life easier and keep things running efficiently.
My philosophy is also to head off the hard work before it happens as much as possible: choose wipe-clean paint so kiddies handprints can easily be cleaned off. Fit dimmer switches, too – it means low lighting will camouflage the worst of the remaining mess. Hardwood flooring is easier and won’t stain. Having washable rugs instead of fitted carpets will make cleaning more manageable. Most important of all, designate a play area for your children so you can confine a good part of the chaos to one section of the house. Even if you don’t have much room, find a space in your living area that’s just for your kids. Make a child-sized table the hub and install a big toy box nearby for superquick tidy-ups. Make it their own separate area that doesn’t need clearing away for meals or any other activities. Screen it off after the kids have gone to bed if necessary.
How do you organise yourself when your schedule is packed?
I really don’t think Blackberrys should be seen as the preserve of high-powered business people. I think they are made for mums – and now the tariffs have come down, they are no more expensive than most mobile phones. I keep a to-do list – along with a shopping list – and everything else on it, so it’s my mobile office. It means I can keep on top of emails while I’m doing the school run, waiting for the children during their extracurricular activities or during nap times.
Do you think there’s too much pressure on mums to have their children booked-up with lots of after-school activities?
Yes, kids are getting over-scheduled. More often than not, I find they are happiest at home pottering about with their toys.
However, I like to make life a little bit easier by doing the extracurricular clubs offered by the schools, rather than ferry them around here there and everywhere. They can be tagged onto the school day and the children seem to enjoy them just as much.
What are your tips for fitting in exercise when you’re rushed off your feet?
It’s really only possible for new mums to exercise if they have a fantastic crèche at their local gym – and these can be hard to find. So, particularly while children are young, it’s more realistic to include them in whatever exercise you’re doing. I lost my baby weight on both occasions because I had an all-terrain pram which really helped to get a good pace going – and burn calories – on trips to the park, shops etc. Trampolines, skipping and energetic visits to the playground are also great ways to have fun with the kids – and keep feeling fit.
What are your favourite fast beauty and fashion fixes?
Well, the book has a big section on choosing the perfect school run coat which can hide a host of sins underneath it – even when you’re still in your pyjamas! A selection of easy-to-wear dresses can also help you look pulled together in an instant and save on time rummaging around for tops and bottoms which match on a frantic morning. I also advise mums to do a lot of their beauty jobs just before your bedtime, when the kids are asleep, like eyebrow plucking and applying a light fake tan mixed with your moisturiser. That way you’ll have less work to do the following morning.
How to be an ‘Amazing Mum’-When You Just Don’t Have the Time – The Ultimate Handbook for Hassled Mothers, by Tanith Carey, is available at £7.99 from Amazon.co.uk and all good book shops.
